is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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