So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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