Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
