Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
