So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I need to calm my uterus...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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