I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
