I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
