ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
