I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
