some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
