Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
