I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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