well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
