Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
