I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
