the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
