Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
