I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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