it hurts more in the daytime
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
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