I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
