I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize