Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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