omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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