He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
