this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
