ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Randomize
