I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize