So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
