A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
