He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
