Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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