Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
