She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
