I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
