Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
