i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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