Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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