another moral hangover. fuck.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i dont even know how to be here
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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