Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
