Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
