Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
