We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
third nipple confirmed
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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