So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
