How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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