Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
