Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
