Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
