yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize