Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
