I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize