I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
