Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
