my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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