i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This is the high leading the old right now
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I believe in your delicious
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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