Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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