is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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