I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Pants are for mortals
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize