I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
