If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
