I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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