no, he came in my armpit
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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