We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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